Having Children In A Confusing World
Looking in my nieces' eyes, piercing with questions that I have no answers to. She had asked me, ‘Aunty, why are two men kissing?’ I was watching the show Empire, while she was sleeping. She had woken up, sneaked into the parlour, and caught the best of the scenes. The scenes you find hard to explain to a three-year-old who assumed relationships were a certain way. I felt a strange empathy for her growing up in a more dynamic world than I did, and confusion about how I needed to answer her questions.
Adults have a lot of explanation to do in this generation. Mothers, fathers, aunts, and uncles are sometimes not armed with the answers because we are in denial that the world has changed. The time for innocence is almost non-existent because we (and children) live in a Google everything world. Porn. Sex. Masturbation. Pedophilia. Rape. As sexuality and the media evolves, how do we ensure our children are ready for a more dynamic world?
A while ago, I read the World Health Organization is proposing teaching children between the ages of 0-6 about masturbation, sex orientation, LGBT rights, etc. Placards in the UK and Canada were raised in protest against the government and its sex education curriculum.
‘Significantly, the new Sex Education guidance is LGBTIQ inclusive; it teaches primary school students, for example, about the existence of LGBTIQ families. It obliges schools to increase the time they spend teaching students about menstrual health and informed consent, and also introduces new guidance on risks related to social media and the internet, for instance ‘sexting’ and ‘revenge porn’. (Opendemocracy.net)
These raises so many questions: Should schools be more involved in teaching about sexual related experiences? Should sex education be the sole responsibility of parents?
While we have these burning questions, we must be aware of the impact of digital channels.
Social media has numerous positives, and a ton of negatives as well. Increasingly, children’s mental health and self-esteem have been on the decline. Unfiltered communication, pedophilia, cyberbullying, and addiction to mobile devices are on the rise. Busy parents’ question who to trust with your children as crimes against children is more rampant. How do we ensure children are protected? Should social media be restricted like alcohol?
For a while, I have wondered if I ever wanted to have children. My constant response - I am not ready - is really the fear of giving birth to children in a more volatile world. I usually go back and forth about the purpose and reasons why I should embark on a 'child journey.' However, a few weeks back, I wrote this statement in my journal:
- Fear should not be a way of life. Decisions based on fear shouldn't guide how we live our lives.
- The world needs more amazing humans. Our challenge should be to raise open and loving children who know who they are and understand their dynamic role in the world. Whatever religion we believe in, we should commit to raising children with love.
We have a duty (if we want children) to bring up children who would be light in this dark world. Children who have compassion, understanding, kindness, and are selfless. Everyone chooses their path, our responsibility is to at least be an example and show them the light.
If you are a parent, give us some tips in guiding your children through this world.
Love,
Shally
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