How Do I Handle Male Egos In The Workplace?

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He walked into my office for a scheduled meeting. I asked him to show me the updated document we had spoken about. He had a wry smile and stuttered, 

‘I have been busy with other things, for example…’


‘Hold on. I made it clear this was a priority. Please, do the task I assigned immediately. Ask someone to help if needed.’ 


He was walking out of my office, and I heard those five letters muttered under his breath, bitch


I made a calculated analysis, should I ignore or confront him. This confusion of how to maneuver egos is normalcy for women bosses. The prejudice towards women leaders as men poke their egos in our faces can be extreme. It seems that the 's' before the ‘he’ springs forth a depth of annoyance covered up till a situation where real emotions burst forth. 


‘Mike, did you just call me a bitch?’


He turns around with the shit I got caught face and then takes the chicken shit route. ‘No, I didn’t.’


‘Come back please and have a seat.’ I try to stay calm and not sound bullish.


‘Do you have a problem working with a woman? If you do, I suggest you clean up your desk. I will file your comment with HR and if I notice this kind of behavior again, I will make sure you do not work with this company.’


‘Are you threatening me? You know what f off. I have women like you at home. Because of work, you are talking to me anyhow and think it is fine? You have a husband at home. Let me advise you…’


‘Let me advise you… get out of my office'


I picked up the phone called HR so they could escort him out. 


***

Why is it sometimes difficult for men to respect women in a professional setting? We are either called bitches, aggressive, angry, not brought upright, or every name in the evil book.


‘Every woman I know, particularly the senior ones, has been called too aggressive at work. We know in gender blind studies that men are more aggressive in their offices than women. We know that. Yet we are busy telling all the women that they are too aggressive. That’s the issue.’ Sheryl Sandberg.


I have experienced work situations where I sensed men felt insulted reporting to a woman. 


When we are called bitches, it means we are kicking ass. 


Aggressive - we are assertive and decisive. 


Annoying - we demand excellence. 


How do women handle these situations and keep rising?


Love,

Shally A. 

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